Anyway, so last night as our daughter refused to eat her dinner of cauliflower, chicken & side of pasta, my husband gave in and let her have a popsicle. If he can get in a better headspace then perhaps he may realise what he is doing to you and the kids. That plays a part of this as well. Thanks again. I think it would be helpful if it was also someone who had a similar level of the BP that they are dealing with. So he proceeded to get accusitory and start snarling about me, about it not being the same thing or a look on my face that he doesn't like, and then started in with rude comments referencing what he calls my families dismissive attitude (this because I got up to clear the table and no longer engage in this with him since I saw what he was turning it into - I wasn't going to argue with him about nothing. I decided to jump over to this thread, since its getting many replies. This combined with seeing something on TV and then doing some research and a questionnaire on the web led us to the a psychologist, the doctor and then finally a psychiatrist to confirm the diagnosis. I don't know anyone who is bipolar so we have spent the past 19 years feeling totally abnormal with family, friends, work colleagues. Been there, done that, as my late husband was bipolar. Don't do it. There is only Bipolar. Coping with a Bipolar Husband Is a Family Affair. If you are choosing to stay, it does not mean that you must martyr yourself to prove your love and loyalty by quiting to care for him. He does not take any pride in what I have built for us by myself. he's at the vet right now. I pointed out if he wants to constantly complain to me about this issue (which he does), he is being hypocritical by breaking the rules here because it is easier than saying "no". the crap, crosses the line of abuse and is now not benefiting my kids that I stay, I may still leave one day. i am new to this forum . Laughing. I will not deny the fact that this scares me and make me wonder if anything bad could ever come of this. I do agree with you Honey Bee that regardless of the levels of the BP, we could still be a support and help to each other. jerseycherries, BTW - one last thing...I don't want you to think I blame my husband for these issues. I am asking this question for my niece ; because she doesn't have a account ; OK Here the situation . Sandra shares her story with Bipolar UK’s readers. He is still Tom. Worst level at the top making up about, Hi again loving frustrated wife. Being the spouse of a bipolar husband means a marriage with bipolar disorder. These experiences run the gamut from wonderful and exciting to … there is no harm in trying. However, he has only been 'diagnosed' as bipolar type 1 2 years ago now. But for the moment, I choose to continue to stay, with hope that he will get more control and responsible over this, for my kids, because I feel a responsiblility to do so and I am honoring our vows. Does that make sense? It happens over and over and over on a regular basis. I am already 47. My husband has a mental illness. Running from a problem is an option, but never a solution. A social worker i spoke to said marriage counselling will work to help manage his anger, at the very least. I have some questions I would love to ask one on one, and I would have contacted you direct, however your e-mail link is disabled. For these reasons, optimal treatment consists of a combination of medication, therapy, and spiritual support. oh and i do understand i can't get diagnosis here. In retrospect, many of his problems pre-date our 20 … Living with bipolar disorder gives you a very different perspective on the world around you. At first it was fine, then when he tried to justify his actions because he said that the popsicle was fat free, I then calmly said that wasn't the point. Doctor answers on Symptoms, Diagnosis, Treatment, and More: Dr. Bradley on living with bipolar husband: The answer would depend on the history of both the symptoms and the symptomatic individual's family. It might involve a seemingly endless process of adjustments. The following contains references to abuse, suicide and promiscuity that might be triggering. “His verbal abuse got so bad I just avoided him,” said Mary J. of her husband, who was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I would love to have the opportunity to e-mail each other directly. this antidepressants really brought it out. I know this, because I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder last year. That I didn't think he then had room to complain to me and/or about me, my mom or our childcare giver - that it isn't fair. Manic Depressive if you will: an illness that has invaded my life. There are groups for this at other sites: I want to talk openly about the realities of living with and trying to support someone who is mentally ill, and what I’ve learned about mental health and stigma over the years. With the bipolar spouse experiencing mood swings and the bipolar disorder symptoms of mania or depression at any given time, it can present a tough challenge for both the husband and wife in the relationship. All this because I pointed out if he was going to let our 6 year old daughter break the rule - "if you don't eat your dinner there is no dessert" (even a fat free popsicle). I will be honest and share with you that had I not had my kids (boy 13, twins 6), and was perhaps in a better financial position, I most likely would not still be here. They can also refer your husband to a good psychiatrist if they feel he might be able to cope better with medications. but maybe in 2 years , when i graduate i will be able to manage things little better . My husband, who I am writing about today, doesn't acknowledge what this is like for me. I agree with what you are saying, but is it wrong, once you have worked it out in your head to then go to the person you spilled it out on and acknowledge while it bothered you what was said, because of your BP you over reacted, took it out on them unfairly or took it to far and for that you are sorry? Hi, I posted here quite sometime ago when my husband was first diagnosed with Bipolar 1 and I was just struggling so much. For most of our time together (until 2 years ago) my husband had many periods of depression and mania and spent much of his life blaming other issues/people for the way he was feeling - some of the time it was 'my fault' as I was the closest to him and so by deduction his misery was due to me or his family, work, money problems! i am so scared , i dont know how to handle his shopping spree . Dealing with a bipolar husband can be difficult, so give your time to adjust to the new challenge in your life. Building and maintaining your marriage when your spouse has bipolar can be challenging. Although I didn’t realize it in the seventh grade, living with bipolar disorder made me feel insignificant and unwanted. This forum is a safe, anonymous environment for people with bipolar disorder to freely discuss their struggles and symptoms. I have dealt with cheating, physical abuse, and money problems, not to mention all the little things in between. It was there during an inpatient stay that she was diagnosed with Bipolar I and Complex PTST (previous abusive husband). Mine is tedious and tiring and lonely. as i am bipolar i can only give my side, my husband did join but hasnt had time to post anything yet. It was a few days before Thanksgiving in 2007. My life living with bipolar I started on cold November night. The stigma of mental illness isn’t just connected with those who are ill, but also to those of us on this journey with them. My husband and I have been through a rollercoaster the last year well really the past 12 years since we first met when we were 15. Home > Bipolar Disorder and Relationships > Bipolar Husband, Wife, Parent > Bipolar Husband, Wife, Parent. he just kinda lets me catch myself. Nonetheless, I believe it's a point worth making. I somehow think he is in denial. There is also sometimes an infectious, contagious type of quality to Bipolar Disorder when one spouse is afflicted. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed trying to keep on top of thigs at the house and look pout for him too. I find it frustrating and undermining too; In the throes of depression, the emotional upheaval makes me feel like a useless person, but I don't blame my husband for that. I have undiagnosed bipolar. We have been through some very rouugh months. when a "normal" person wouldn't act like that. then when he got on antideresants his bipolar side began to really show up.now i have a doctors appointment day after tommorrow . Hi to everyone here. It is so greatly appreciated. Living with bipolar may require and endless tweaking of medication to avoid twerking your mood swings in your partner’s face. That said, I'm mostly very high functioning and pretty self-aware. Educating yourself can help you learn how to identify manic or depressive episodes, understand the chemical imbalance behind the episodes, and look for any troubling behavior. Married also most a quarter of century. Living with a husband or wife who has bipolar disorder can be difficult. LAKE GENEVA -- Maria Ruby was a lot like other kids when she was growing up. I have lived with him for 29 years and have 4 children. But when his mood disorder is compounded with infidelity, the situation can reach a crisis level. Serafena and Stressed In Bama, thank you for your input, it is ALL enromously helpful. There seems to be, IMHO, a difference between the way men and women relate to their own health issues. I stayed on the phone with her for 12 hours as she made the trip back to home. As the man with bipolar in a marriage and partnership of 24 years, I must say that getting medical help, learning as much as possible about my condition, and carefully attending to my wellness activities( proper sleep, moderation, medications, practicing my mental health techniques), has greatly diminished the harms I cause to my partner, my life, and friendships. i have though about quitting studies , but then i think about the hard work and money  i have put into my studies . To Honey Bee & Stressed in Bama, thank you for sharing your stories and advise. The stigma of mental illness isn’t just connected with those who are ill, but also to those of us on this journey with them. I know my sister's husband was far higher on the spectrum scale than my husband and he was explosive with his temper (never physical though). 2012-04-04 12:28 PM . I know the frustation and I too, feel so alone most of the time. I didn't make him a BP. The love from the man I married, the fun, passion, comfort we had with each other is not here often enough. jersey cherries, btw, if you husband is willing, I would love to chat with him too. Try these tips for coping with the inevitable mood swings. I can see how tired and frustrated you are but also confused over what to decide to do for the future. She never asks how I am. Post Edited (Honey Bee) : 6/8/2007 2:33:10 AM (GMT-6), Post Edited (Honey Bee) : 6/8/2007 7:07:32 PM (GMT-6). i cant work and when i did it wasnt for long. Posts: 19 Threads: 6 Joined: 2012 Apr Reputation: 0 #1. talking fast and very loud and cursing.we do not have any assests together . However, a few things happened 2 years ago, firstly we moved countries and changed our life significantly. He doesn't acknowledge what this must be like for me - to live with a BP at ALL. I am also NOT young like you. That’s what Mary J resorted to with her bipolar husband. I am just worn out by it all and recognizing that I don't want the kids to learn it is okay to speak to your spouse the way he does me when he is like this. He feels that he is justified in his feelings and actions and it is all my own fault. Thanks for listening and I will appreciate any feedback or buddies that I find to be supportive with. I take my meds, still learning how to manage triggers and meet with a counselor weekly. For example he has periods when he can sleep for 18 hours a day at times (in depression) and then go to the other extreme where he sleeps for about, I often feel very guilty (guilt is one of my specialties) about, Hi Honey Bee, thank you for writing back. i am currently in the process of trying to get on social security/disabillity benifits. In terms of the Bipolar he is on an antidepressant, mood stabiliser and antipsychotics but it has actually taken a lot longer than I thought it would to get the antipsychotic right. His attitude is that he is on his meds, therefore he is justified because he is now "normal". Take care and let me know how you are doing because I care. Do you have any interest? If I only had one child to contend with on my own. bphope.com is an online community for people living with bipolar disorder, as well as their friends and families, and for anyone seeking support. It is suggested that about 90 percent of marriages where one person is bipolar ends in divorce (Marano, 2003). There are as many experiences with bipolar disorder as there are people with bipolar. We have 3 kids. but his "name" or whatever it is is bigjimbo73 so you can kinda watch for him. he planned to start some million dollar business . Bipolar disorder wears many faces. I would love the opportunity to be more direct with you about. But both possess low frustration tolerance. Refrain from living your life for your husband. Online research about bipolar disorder and, especially searching for help in dealing with a bipolar husband, was how Mary found the book, “70 Signs of Depression: Recognize and Cope with Your Loved One’s Clinical or Manic Depression.” Bipolar disorder is characterized by mood variations from mania to depression and there’s typically plenty of risky behavior in between. 10 Tips for Coping With a Bipolar Spouse. However, there may also be specific indicators that suggest taking another look at the relationship. He was diagnosed late last year. He is now a house husband … i'm confused if i'm being manipulated again. And while I say that, I completely accept that as a gross generalization and that real people are exceptions all the time. I know how exhausting it is to have bipolar but I also know how confusing and exasperating it is living with some one with bipolar or another mental illness. That is going to be an individual choice for you to make. Here are a few simple relationship tips & ideas to keep you and your sweetheart in synch when living with bipolar … And then he continues on. I may not even have stayed if I hadn't had my twins. Do what it takes to finish and succeed in that goal for YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't know difficulty getting out of bed was a symptom. So this converstaion turned into the results I started with. Just yesterday when he was cool and all i spoke to him about getting marriage counselling together and he said he may be ok with the idea. Except for one thing. I have pointed out to my husband that he dosen't give me credit for anything and I feel like I have to do my remembering and his. by sunnyisland » Sat Jan 03, 2015 3:10 am, by sunnyisland » Sun Jan 04, 2015 4:43 am, by sunnyisland » Sun Jan 04, 2015 5:23 am, by sunnyisland » Sun Jan 04, 2015 4:06 pm, by BlueFlower » Sat Jan 17, 2015 11:43 pm, by sunnyisland » Sun Jan 18, 2015 1:55 am, by sunnyisland » Wed Jan 21, 2015 5:26 am, Return to Significant Others, Family & Friends Forum, Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 16 guests. The hardest part for me is that he won't acknowledge that he treats me this way, that this is HIS issue and HE overreacts to the smallest things. I'm very confused as to whether I'm entitled to any benefit as I have bipolar and I'm on lots of meds, but my husband is self employed. He has bipolar disorder. Hi to everyone here. If you quit now because of your husband, you will always regret it, and eventually blame him. I was justified to point out what I did. Noone else seemed to have the experiences I had and like you all here I have felt very lonely and also very anxious for a large proportion of my adult life because of this. We have been together for 21 years now since I was 17 years old. Here are techniques for coping with bipolar spouses. They are more the implode style. I am certainly not looking to bust up the family over it. Hi Oliveira, I value your comments; they're very straightforward. I want to talk openly about the realities of living with and trying to support someone who is mentally ill, and what I’ve learned about mental health and stigma over the years. I see what I missed now, Loving, that you intimated too that being a man makes it harder for your husband to have the BP, that admitting to the illness is somehow emasculating. My husband done a lot of self medicating which made him abusive to himdelf. But it did and of course I was the one blamed for it and am being "punished" for it. We were also in a better place financially and yet my hubbie still felt very depressed. Living with someone who suffers from bipolar disorder presents a set of problems all its own. All are affected and it is nobody's fault. My husband was diagnosed with PTSD (not military-related) and bipolar disorder approx. Being involved in a bipolar marriage can be one of the toughest challenges for a loving relationship. did u feel like just running away. So we spent an afternoon at the National Arboretum in Washington, D.C., followed by a leisurely lunch. As he so frequently points out, HE is not bipolar. And what you have to get is that none of that means I don't love my husband. he did not finish his studies . Your third paragraph was so dense that it was hard for me to read. It is 11:00am, and he has yet to speak to me yet (he works out of his office from home). My family thinks there's no point giving him any more chance. As you read above, I struggle with the way I am spoken to and blamed for things. I find, even with my own wonderful spouse, that he has a harder time even admitting something medical or emotional is bothering him, let alone seeking treatment for it or continuing treatment for it. The next day I took her to the doctor who recommended a stay in a local hospital for evaluation. A Letter to My Husband, From a Woman With Bipolar Disorder To my selfless, patient, empathetic soul mate, I have so much I want to say to you, and then I have nothing at all to say to you. he says that he can fly planes , treat patients  , he is getting into high risk behaviors with borrowing lots of money. Thank you for responding. Yes, it is difficult and challenging at times living with a bipolar but … It was a situation that didn't need to turn into something. i feel like all this debt is going to fall on me some day . Living with a bipolar spouse can be hell on earth. It is an unfortunate illness. Over 250 self-help support groups and discussion forums for people who need emotional support, help with a mental health, relationship, parenting, or sexual problem, and mental illness support. how did you all manage . Your third paragraph was so dense that it was hard for me to read. Bipolar is pretty serious, so he may need medications. i am a full-time student who & works full time . This is my first visit to this site. Is there any tips on helping him to cope with this disorder better? He doesn't see what it is like, or how he WAY over reacts to the smallest of issues or even nothing at all. I have just found this forum and was really interested to read others stories, issues and problems. Being involved in a bipolar marriage can be one of the toughest challenges for a loving relationship. My husband is very busy with work right now and doesn’t have much time. 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